Life With Two Toddlers

So, I've been home 2 1/2 weeks and just now feel like I can come up for air.  The days are busy..  if the babies are awake I'm on the move.  If I sit, someone is climbing on me..  if I move to another room, I have two shadows..  if I go to the bathroom, well..  you get the picture.

I will mention a few things about our transition..

Food and eating behavior
It seems that Abigail was spoon-fed everything in the orphanage.  The only way she would eat when we first came home is if I fed her.  She spit out everything that had texture:  bread, fruit, vegetables, meat..  I tried feeding her pureed veggies (baby food) and she likes that.  She also likes baby cereal, ramon noodles, rice and bananas.  All these foods I must sit and feed her.  The minute I look away or give her the chance to feed herself, she hurls the food on the floor..  even though she's hungry.  If my dog is nearby, he leaps at the opportunity and polishes everything off.  Very frustrating.  A stern "no" with frowny face did no good.  Today I'm trying a new strategy..  I'm telling her the cup holder on her tray is the "no, thank you" cup.  If she doesn't want to eat it, put it in the "no, thank you" cup.  When she throws food on the floor, I promptly take her out of her seat and have her pick up the food from the floor and put it in her "no, thank you" cup.  She is responding to this strategy..  I hope we can resolve the issue.  Of course, William also throws food too...  but when he's full and ready to get down.  I've taught them sign for "all done" as well as "more" and "please".  Abby especially uses these signs without being prompted.  William needs reminders.

Divided attention
It took me about a week to get this figured out to a workable solution.  William has always had mommy's undivided attention and Abigail enjoyed mommy to herself while in China.  It was a shock to both when they started realizing they needed to share me.  When I fed Abby a bottle and held her, William wanted one too and wanted to be held (keep in mind, William only drank from a bottle one time in his life!).  Like I said when my big boys were little, "two laps, two babies".  I just hold them both while they drink their bottles..  I also read a story at the same time. Yes, we're juggling!  Abigail has not figured out the steps yet and needs to be carried down the stairs ..  guess who else wants to be carried down now?  I just hold both and don't worry about doing any arm work-outs later.  When I tickle one, I tickle the other.  When I swing one in the air, I swing the other.  Is this exhausting?  YES!  Is it fun?  YES!

Clingy in public
As to be expected, Abigail is shy and reserved in public.  She is observing the world and is not sure about everything.  She wants to be held by me and cries if I put her down.  We are building our confidence through everyday love and care.   I'm trying to leave her for short stretches so she will know "mommy leaves but mommy always comes back".  I can only imagine her perspective on life right now.  She needs lots of stability and structure.

Life with two toddlers
A few pictures will tell the story..

Oh, yes!  Toilet paper.

Helping in the kitchen

Target outing

 

Happy and busy family.  Now we're just waiting on daddy to come home from deployment!

We're HOME!!
It's been a very busy few days and I haven't had a chance to update the blog.  I'm going to backtrack and record some of the happenings of our travel adventure and first days home.  I will be brief though.  I don't have much time..

We started our trip home by driving from Guangzhou to Hong Kong which took about 3 hours.  Our driver was weaving all around cars, faster.. slower.. back & forth -- the ride seemed to be typical of our experience in China so I didn't think much of it.  I fed Abigail a nice big container of blueberry yogurt.  Well, guess what ended up all over my lap and shirt??  Yep.  I guess she gets car sick!

We stayed the night in Hong Kong, which seemed to be a pretty cool city.  I would have loved to go to Disneyland there.  It was time for the 12 1/2 hour flight home..  oh, boy!  Abby did well on the flight.  She fussed when she was tired then would fall asleep in various positions on me.  When she was sleeping I was like a frozen statue --  if I moved she would wake up, fuss and cry -- so I remained a statue.  Sometimes I wondered if I still had the ability to walk since my body was numb from sitting so long in one position.

We arrived in San Francisco Wednesday morning..  along with all the other Thanksgiving holiday travelers..  the place was a ZOO!  Fortunately, we could bypass some of the long lines since we had a child in a stroller.  After maneuvering through immigration and customs, we got to our gate and I ate a very yummy salad.  Then we went on one more flight and arrived in TX.

My father-in-law picked us up from the airport..  the kids were at home waiting.  When we drove up to the house, I wanted first of all to see my baby William.  Two weeks is a long, long time to be away from your 18 month old.  He saw me and stood at the front door with his lower lip puckered out in a big frown.  At first it was like he forgot me and was shy to see me.  I gave him a big hug, then hugged my big boys and went to sit down on the carpet.  It didn't take long for William to warm up..  he was running all around, jumping in my lap for hugs and tickles, and just pointing at me saying "mama, mama".  Yes, it really was mama!  The big boys had made us a "Welcome Home" sign and chocolate cookies (made out of kleenex).  Abigail was happy to be free to run around after being confined to cars, strollers and airplanes for so long.    She explored the toys and ran around in the joy of the boys.  My mother-in-law made a scrumptious dinner of hamburgers, fries and salad.  It is so good to be home!

The next day was Thanksgiving..  I had pre-ordered the dinner from Whole Foods so we picked it up in the morning and enjoyed a very yummy holiday meal together.

My dad left for home this morning.  I am so very thankful that he shared this experience with me.  He was very supportive and helpful, and Abby loves her grandpa.  What a special memory we shared together!

The first few days home have been happy, exhausting, chaotic and emotional.  It will take a while for us to settle into a groove..  for each of the kids to find their place in the family.  It is so important for us to stay in God's Word and stay focused on what's truly important.

I will continue to update the blog --  it won't be every day, but when I have thoughts or happenings to share.  Thank you for praying for us and supporting us!

Almost done!  We went to the Visa appointment today, took an oath that everything we submitted is true, then handed over a packet containing documents and information from the various steps of the paperwork process.  I wonder if anyone has logged the number of hours spent on paperwork for one adoption.  I'm sure it would be shocking!

Abigail wore a pretty red dress for the event but we couldn't even bring cameras or cell phones for the "swearing in".  We had to leave electronics at a security check point.  She did have fun playing in her red dress though..

Abigail will officially become a U.S. citizen when we first enter the United States - our entry point will be San Francisco.  Pretty cool since we have many fond memories of the Bay Area.

Abby's personality is coming through more and more as she becomes more comfortable with us.  She throws food on the floor when she's done eating and whines when she's had enough of an activity (mostly when we're out and about).  She's starting to enjoy her bath more - today she played in the water for a quite a while..  much better from the fearful bath experience at the beginning.

We're going to the zoo tomorrow morning then will receive her Passport/ Visa in the afternoon.  After that, we'll travel to Hong Kong by car, stay the night and fly home the next day.  Did I mention we'll soon be FLYING HOME?!  I'm so excited!

Thank you for the prayers, messages and notes of encouragement.  Even though I haven't had a chance to respond, I read every comment and receive the strength to keep going.  Your words make a difference...

Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name!

We're in Guangzhou now..  Abigail had her first airplane ride yesterday.  About a 2 hour flight from Nanjing to Guangzhou.  She did well..  normal toddler squirminess but no major issues.  Of course, this flight was only 1/6 of our flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco..  then we'll have another four hour flight to San Antonio.  THIS will be the real test.

After arriving in Guangzhou, we had an hour of "international adventure".  No one was waiting for us with a sign at the airport.  After about 15 minutes, I started making phone calls..  trying to find someone who speaks English..  trying to figure out how to safely get to the hotel.  My dad did a great job entertaining Abigail while I fluttered around.  I finally spoke with someone at the hotel who understood English.  I told him what gate we were at and he told me to look for a black van with a specific license plate.  We were happy to finally be on our way!

Feeding her a bottle of warm milk

This morning we joined up with 3 other families in our travel group to go for the Visa medical exam. The place was swarming with other adopting families..  all ages of parents and children.  New moms and dads trying to figure out the needs of their new children.  It is exciting to be part of such a beautiful story of adoption.  How God brings people together from all different backgrounds and brokenness.  How He will knit hearts together..  though it won't always be easy.

Out to dinner

I'm glad this is the final stretch of the journey..  Although we've had some really yummy authentic Chinese food, I'm ready to get back to my normal diet..  I'm especially craving fresh vegetables and can't wait to eat a big salad (we can only eat cooked veggies here to avoid tummy troubles).  And I really, really, really want to be back with my boys.  I miss them so much!  Please pray we will stay healthy (my dad is coming down with a cold and Abigail has congestion too) and pray we will stay strong during these final days of the trip.

Grace and peace, Marianne

We went to Abigail's orphanage today..  the Nanjing Social Welfare Institute.  When we arrived at the orphanage, several nannies called out from windows on higher floors "Rou Rou!" (her nickname).  We took an elevator to the third floor and went into her playroom after taking off our shoes.  About 8 nannies were playing with or holding babies.  Some children were mobile, some were just laying on the floor.  Abigail's special nanny ran over to her and both were happy to see each other.  Abby looked at me a couple times and I nodded, "It's good."

Abby's best friend is a little boy, Ankang.  He was overjoyed to see Abigail and gave her a couple sweet kisses.  Then a little later he hit her..  typical toddlers!  Our guide was translating everything for us and said Ankang will be adopted by a U.S. family next month.  I would love to connect with this family and keep the kiddos in contact with one another.

We saw the sleeping room, with rows of cribs lined up.  It looked like the mattresses were being aired out since they were all tilted at an angle.  They showed us the room where they give the children a bath.  I was interested in this part of our visit since Abby is having trouble with bathtime - she does not like it!  In the orphanage, she was held by one nanny, leaned back, then washed with a sprayer by another.  She did not sit and play in the bathtub.  I will keep trying to make bathtime more fun for her..  maybe William will need to show her how it's done.

There are about 300 children assigned to this orphanage, about 100 are in foster care in homes nearby.  There are about 200 children under the age of 10 living daily at the orphanage.  The building is not large enough to hold all the children so a new one is being built and will be ready in 2014 or 2015.  This is likely the last time we will see this particular orphanage --  if we have an opportunity to visit Nanjing in the future, the orphanage will be at the new location.

In general, the orphanage seemed clean and organized.  The nannies seemed happy and loving toward the children.  My guide shared that this is one of the best orphanages - I am so thankful Abby is coming to us from a loving environment!  When it was time to go, Abby's special nanny came down with us to say a final goodbye.  Abby was confused and started crying - she wasn't sure if she should come with me or stay with her nanny.  We walked around outside a bit after saying goodbye and she settled down.  Then I gave her a snack and a drink which she enjoyed.  So many big moments for such a small person!

View of the purple mountains

We ended the morning strolling around Xuanwu Lake.  Abigail fell asleep in the stroller.

Tomorow we receive Abigail's passport in the morning then fly to Guangzhou in the afternoon.

The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious.  Exodus 34:6

Today has been a nice day..  clear and brisk outside.  A good day to tour..  We went to Dr. Sun Yat-sen's Mausoleum at the foot of the Zhongshan Mountain.  He is revered at the Father of Modern China and is well respected by all Chinese people.  Four Chinese characters written by Dr. Sun Yat-sen are inscribed on the doorway that translates "The World Belongs to All".

There were many Chinese tourists there.  Several large tourist groups.  As we walked, we received many stares and double-takes.  Blond caucasian with Chinese baby.  I'm sure we'll get stares and double-takes our whole life, wherever we are.  I made sure to bundle Abigail in many layers today - the Chinese dress their babies in at least 3 warm layers.  I was chastised by several older Chinese women yesterday..  "need more clothes".

I'm thinking of my son Ethan especially - today is his birthday (10 years!).  Mom sends big hugs to her oldest son..  My in-laws are taking good care of him and will make him feel very special on this special day.

A few photos...

When we first met

In the hotel room and pushing the stroller

Out to dinner

Playing with Grandpa at dinner

Running around the hotel room